pause...

hi y'all. i swear i am not dead, nor have i gained back a gajillion pounds or anything--i am just busy as hell. i am not going to bother updating this blog much over the next month. i am moving instead, and i can only handle devoting brain power to so much at once. i am still trying to eat fairly well, but i don't have time to cook as much as usual. i am trying to make large things that will last a few days. i am also getting a ton of exercise in the form of painting and lifting and packing and moving, but i am not even really trying to fit the gym into this picture. i DID, however, go ahead and get a new gym membership over near the new house, so i will be able to hit the ground running once we get moved in. moving day is march 24th, so i will keep you posted. i'm not gone--i'm just on PAUSE until i get moved. i will still be posting on my regular blog. and i WILL be back--i promise.

what the hell, people?

the sunday skinny:

02/04/07	current	goal	lost this week	lost so far	left to lose
weight:	206.2 lb	160.0 lb	1.2 lb	7.6 lb	46.2 lb
body fat:	46% (?)	25%	0%	1%	45%

ok, so you tell me. i have eaten utter crap all week long and have been to the gym exactly zero times. so why? why am i down 1.2 pounds this week??? this just makes no sense to me. i guess the lesson is, you can have a shitty week every once in a while and not pay too bad of a price for it. i know i can't continue to eat this way, however, or that get-out-of-jail-free card will definitely expire, and i will die of a stroke or a heart attack after busting through all the seams in my jeans. bleh. i am almost annoyed that i have lost anything this week since i did NOTHING to deserve it. and yes, i know that's irational and perverse. anyway--i am getting back on track today, so you know, cross your fingers for me that things go well.

what a week!!!

hi guys. here i am, having experienced a week of abject diet and exercise failure. this was one of those weeks where i have barely had time to even go pee, much less keep track of or think about what i am eating. work has sucked, and i have been as stressed as i can be and not just shut down. i have a hive. there was one day when i had a cookie for lunch, which is, by the way, a TERRIBLE idea except for that it did ward off the encraoching migraine. the nausea, it did NOTHING for. anyway, i am just calling this week a bust. i am terrified to weigh on sunday--i know it's going to be ugly. but you know, this is life i guess. some weeks just make things impossible. i just gotta climb back on the bandwagon. and i will, just as soon as i can get to the grocery store! right now, the worst part is that i am just too tired to care. hopefully i will get caught up on some rest this weekend, and that will help A LOT! y'all bear with me.

sunday morning, not so skinny

the sunday skinny:

02/04/07	current	goal	lost this week	lost so far	left to lose
weight:	207.4 lb	160.0 lb	-1.2 lb	6.4 lb	47.4 lb
body fat:	???	25 %	???	???	???

in a word--ugh. then again, i don't know what i was expecting since i have been to the gym what? once this week? i know that exercise is key for me to lose weight, and yet, still i hope i will keep losing when i do virtually nothing to make it happen. i mean, i have still been eating healthy, but you know what i mean--i need more activity in my daily life, so i need to work harder to get it there. even when it's 20 degrees out at 5:30am. and even when i feel kind of ill--unless i am really sick, i should be able to do something. i guess i just need to become more of my own drill sergeant.

saturday around the house

food log:

• breakfast: oatmeal with cinnamon, brown sugar, chopped walnuts, and blueberries, 1% milk, tea
• lunch: 1/2 a bowl of minestrone soup and a low fat pimiento cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread. this is called--we're running out of stuff in the house to eat!
• dinner: chili at jenn's house
  
• snacks/other: 3 stolen bites of the hippie's peanut butter toast
• desserts/sweets: none

activities: cleaned the crap out of the house, but that's it. still feeling a tiny bt like i have been hit by a mack truck.

ticker

hey y'all--check out the hilarious little weight loss ticker i added at the bottom of the page. i am more than a little amused by it, plus, it's oddly motivating.

friday night dance party

food log:

• breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and spices, 1 slice of turkey bacon, and 1 slice of ww toast, LS V8, and tea
• lunch: take-out from neomonde (that place is addictive)--chicken salad, fruit salad, fatoush (which is a salad of cucumbers, tomatoes, green peppers, lemon juice, olive oil, and spices), hummus and 1 ww pita
• dinner: dinner out at porter's with some folks at dance class: had a few pieces of fried calamari, followed by roasted chicken in a broth gravy, mashed sweet potatoes, french beans, and a glass of mark west pinot noir--it wasn't perfectly healthy, but it was one of the healthier choices. i am still calling that the spurge meal of the week, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.
• snacks/other: no morning snack, some cashews in the afternoon, and a late night snack--a wedge of toasted pita with some crab dip on it (not large, thank god, as i know it was a fat bomb!)
• desserts/sweets: a chocolate and vanilla martini

activities: went dancin'

it was awfully fun being out with the folks from dance class, and i was pretty proud of myself for my restraint. it would have been VERY easy to have a re-run of last weekend's wine and martini extravaganza, but i held myself in check with one glass of wine and one martini. it's just too easy to get caught up in the social aspect of eating and drinking. i am still learning to not go crazy when i am out having fun. the dancing part was pretty great, too--i need more of that!

stressful thursday

food log:

• breakfast: oatmeal with blueberries, chopped walnuts, brown sugar, and cinnamon with 1% milk, tea
• lunch: lftover stuff from neomonde from wednesday's dinner
• dinner: pan seared grass-fed strip steaks, carrots, steamed asparagus, and mushrooms sauteed in olive oil and red wine
• snacks/other: cashews in the morning, a slice of w.w. toast and some V-8 in the afternoon
• desserts/sweets: 1 tiny and delicious french dark chocolate truffle

activities: had plans to go to the gym this morning, but woke up feeling ill. bleh. still feel a bit ill, if you want to know the truth.

work was horribly stressful today, and it was all i could do not to buy a 6-pack of beer and drink the whole thing. the fact that i didn't, and that i also didn't eat a bunch of hot wings and ice cream--that, my friends, is a triumph indeed. the fact that i didn't go to the gym is deplorable, but while i can fight my way around a headache, the nausea is a thing i am not good at overcoming. i'm going to bed.

wednesday, practicing a tiny bit of self-dicipline

food log:

• breakfast: 1 egg on 1 slice of whole wheat seeded bread (omega 3-seed from the 9th street bakery), 1/2 a piece of turkey bacon, LS V-8, and tea
• lunch: same pasta as yesterday, pinky. click here for the recipe.
• dinner: went to neomonde before dance class--had some majadra, some cabbage, stewed eggplant, and a chicken thing with squash and carrots and stuff in it. the triumph of dinner is that i stopped eating when i was full. neomonde is healthy, but the girl who always serves me give me a LOT of food. usually, i just eat it because, well--it's great, but this time, i was like--hmmm. i'm actually pretty full. and now i have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. yay for a modicum of self control!
• snacks/other: no snacks in the morning, some almonds in the afternoon
• desserts/sweets: 1 hershey's dark chocolate nugget with almonds

activities: went to the gym! whoo hoo! did weight training for legs, chest, and biceps, some ab work and stretching. i would have done some cardio, too, but i arrived late due to an alarm clock snafu. thank goodness we had dance class tonight--that's my favorite cardio anyway. :) here's to making it to the gym tomorrow and friday, too!

by the way, i sat down last night and wrote out my work-out for today. that really seems to be my key motivator. if I write it down, with a date and everything, it's like i have mentally committed to it. i HIGHLY recommend keeping a workout notebook if you need some motivation.

read this, too

i love crazy aunt purl. she so often says what i want to say, better than i can say it. go read this:

a most uncomfortable subject

it's awesome.

cold as hell

tuesday
food log:

• breakfast: oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, blueberries, chopped walnuts, and 1% milk, tea
• lunch: whole grain kamut pasta with roasted red peppers, mushrooms, and sundried tomato chicken sausage
• dinner: pan seared spiced pork loin chops, baby carrots cooked in chicken broth with marjoram and sea salt, and steamed broccoli
• snacks/other: nada
• desserts/sweets: 2 hershey's dark chocolate nuggets with almonds, and (i admit with shame) a starbucks oatmeal raisin cookie

monday
food log:

• breakfast: oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, blueberries, chopped walnuts, and 1% milk, tea
• lunch: went to serena with tina, had grilled chicken skewers with BBQ and cucumber yogurt dipping sauces, a side salad with balsamic vinaigrette, and a tiny fruit salad
• dinner: salmon with white wine and lime and stir-fried veggies
• snacks/other:
• desserts/sweets:

see how there are no activities listed there? that's because it's been so freakin' cold that i have stayed in my warm bed instead of getting up. i am done with that, however. tomorrow, i'm getting up, dammit. i feel all sluggish and crappy from being sedentary.

superbowl sunday skinny

the sunday skinny:

02/04/07	current	goal	lost this week	lost so far	left to lose
weight:	206.2 lb	160.0 lb	1.4 lb	7.6 lb	46.2 lb
body fat:	???	25 %	???	???	???

so the miracle here is that i am down a little bit even though i haven't been to the gym. all i keep thinking is that i could have made that number a lot bigger if i HAD gone. working out is key. and yet, i have such a hard time with it. this go 'round it isn't even that i don't want to work out--it's just been hard having a super-busy work week and trying to get the home stuff done and get to bed early enough to make it happen in the morning. i don't mean to sound like i am making excuses--i'm not. i am just trying to figure out what i need to change to make this happen for myself. but anyway--let's hear it for not having to post another negative weight loss for this week--whoo hoo!

oh, and by the way, my scale at home says i have dropped to 46% body fat from the original 47. i have to say--i still don't trust it to be right, but i am going to keep watching it just in case. i would talk to them at the gym about helping me figure out my BF%, but the front desk is peopled by idiots. it's sad.

weekend food

saturday
saturday i wasn't TOO bad, although there is still not enough in the way of activity here to be remotely reasonable for aanyone, let alone a person trying to lose some weight!

food log:

• breakfast: 1 egg on sunflower toast AND oatmeal--i was starving for some reason--and tea, of course
• lunch: lunch at neomonde--got a sampling of chicken dishes, some majadra, and some cabbage
• dinner: went out with friends to the irregardless cafe, where it was VERY hard to find something healthy. i did the best i could and ordered a caesar salad and a "small plate" surf and turf that was a tiny steak with 3 shrimp, some roasted potatoes (i ate a few but not all), and some green beans--the bad things were the potatoes and the butter that was unexpectedly melting on my steak. and well--i had about 5 glasses of wine. *cringe*
• snacks/other: morning snack was a piece of toast, no afternoon snack--my lunch was too big
• desserts/sweets: a chocolate martini (yes--after the 5 glasses of wine)

activities: did a little dancing, but not enough to count as a real activity

sunday
sunday. hungover superbowl sunday. SLACKER sunday. let's just say, i declared it a sunday of fuckit. a phase 3 splurge. here's what i can remember:

food log:

• breakfast: a piece of toast, and then i thit the breakfast bar at whole foods: some scrambled eggs, 3 pieces of bacon, 1 piece of link sausage, a whole wheat blueberry pancake, a little bit of quiche, and some potato latkes--i ALMOST snapped and ate a muffin, but i walked away. and of course there was tea. a LOT of tea. with whole milk.
• lunch: a phase two lunch of tuna salad toasted on whole wheat sunflower bread with some LF cheddar
• dinner: okk--here's where it gets ugly. we went to a superbowl party. i made mac and cheese for it--from scratch, so i know exactly how bad it was with it's 3 kinds of cheese, whole quart of whole milk, butter, and semolina-flour pasta. so i had some of that, some crab dip, some taco soup, a couple of phyllo dough and pepperoni pinwheel things, some cilantro jalapeno hummus with w.w. crackers, some HORRIBLE but fabulous little chocolate footballs made of cocoa krispies and dark chocolate. i THINK that's everything, but who knows--i could be leaving something out of the feeding frenzy. the good things are a) i didn't have any alcohol in spite of the HUGE urge to drink a bloody mary and then a beer, b) i sisn't eat ALL the crap i wanted to, and c) i quit eating like a madwoman when i was actually full--miracle.
• snacks/other: see dinner
• desserts/sweets: also see dinner

activities: um--see dinner for that too.

whew--it's kind of tough to admit to the world that i had such a day of completely unhealthy eating. but there it is--and it would show on my body even if my mouth lied about it if i started eating that way every day (again). one day like that once in a while isn't going to kill me, but man--it's so easy to jump on the slippery slope and just fall totally off the healthy eating bandwagon. i am not letting that happen. but wow--reading that whole list makes me a tiny bit ill now that i am past it.

ps--i am backdating this post so things will appear in order. i am playing catch-up due to having been too damned busy to post.

end of a long long week

food log:

• breakfast: oatmeal with blueberries and strawberries and 1% milk, tea
• lunch: went to neomonde and got a chicken kabob, some stewed eggplant, and majadra--YUM!
• dinner: cooked out at harry and jenn's--had some filet mignon, grilled veggies, and roasted cauliflower with a glass of great red wine (pedroncelli mother clone zin)
• snacks/other: some strawberries and almonds in the afternoon, no morning snack
• desserts/sweets: none

activities: also none

another snowy thursday morning

food log:

• breakfast: one egg on whole wheat sunflower toast with two slices of turkey bacon, LS V-8, and of course, tea
• lunch: chicken chili
• dinner: heh--a bowl of cereal--now NOT creative is that? the hippie's got game night, and i was just tired and didn't feel like cooking--i had a bowl of kashi cinnamon harvest with 1% milk
• snacks/other: nada
• desserts/sweets: 1 hersheys dark chocolate nugget with almonds

activities: nada on that front, too. i have been super-stressed this week and not sleeping well, which means getting up at 5:30am hasn't been working out so well. it'sa catch 22--i know i would feel better if i were working out, and i can tell my body is missing it. BUT. i have been so tired, i just can't get it together. bleh. but i will--the stress is calming down a bit at last...