plugging along

two days of pilates in a row == OW! but i am still glad i did it. went up and down the stairs twice today. ate healthy. still forgot to weigh in--i think i have mental block on that b/c i don't REALLY want to KNOW how much i weigh! tomorrow, i will try once again to remember...

oh, and salsa class last night ROCKED! it was so fun, and i definitely had worked up a sweat by the end of the 45 minutes. yay for fun exercise!

welcome to the next evolution

new goal: lose 20 pounds by my friend mary's christmas party.

i have 16 weeks, so i think i can do it.

i have sworn off eating out more than twice a week. this weekend i planned a menu, went to the grocery store, got some healthy food, and spent a lot of time cooking and food prepping for this week. i made a big pot of vegetable soup and salads for lunch. i roasted a chicken. i cooked a lot of veggies. all good. i also made some cookies that are not too bad as cookies go (they are oatmeal and peanut butter based, have less fat than most cookies, and use all brown sugar instead of white), and i am allowing myself a couple of those per day.

i got up on saturday morning and took myself on a moderate 2.75-mile hike, which was awesome and definitely somehting i want to do more often. and this morning i got out of bed early and did a 20-minute pilates workout at home. i have a dance class tonight, and then i am planning to go for a walk. today at work, i took the stairs.

baby steps, all, but i am trying to just alter things in my daily routine into something more active that i can live with. tomorrow morning, i will weigh--meant to do it today, but i totally forgot. then we'll see where i am.

please don't argue with me about how much i weigh

what is it with people who refuse to believe you are the size you are. i have a good friend who i love who always encourages me to wear her clothes--her size 8 clothes that do not even come close to fitting my size 16 ass. she really really cannot see me as i am--it's weird. she doesn't mean any harm by it or anything, but it always leaves me feeling like crap about myself all the same. and then there was a time when i got into an argument with some folks who refused to believe my weight. granted i have some muscle mass, and i do think i look like i weigh a LITTLE less than my true weight--but man, why would i lie about that?? what in the world would i be accomplishing by stating that i was HEAVIER than i am??? i actually had to get on a scale to prove to them that i wasn't making the 212 number up. and they still didn't really believe it. today another friend was telling me about a conversation she had with a woman in her office--the woman was throwing out numbers that were wildly off from my friend's true weight, making her feel like crap. and then offering all this unsolicited advice on how to lose weight. advice that sucked, by the way. so yeah--skinny people? y'all listen now. here's jackie's advice on how to deal with your overweight freinds and acquaintences who are struggling with the whole thing:

1) sure--ask how it's going and be a supportive ear IF, and ONLY IF the person is your actual FRIEND. if it's an acquaintance, just leave it alone--it's really none of your business.

2) no advice please, unless we ask for it. especially idiot advice like--just stop eating bread and you will lose weight. not helpful. really.

3) don't assume we don't know what we're doing. most of us know EXACTLY what we need to do to lose weight and where we are failing and where we are succeeding. trust me on this.

4) try to understand that this is a sensitive topic. it's not something that most of us take lightly or feel blase about. we feel awful about it--it's one of the ruling factors in our lives. and yes--we do already know it's up to us to change it. so being told that--it's just not helpful.

sorry if i am sounding a tad bitter today. i am tired. and cranky. sometimes shit just rubs me the wrong way. i am going to shut up now.