please don't argue with me about how much i weigh
what is it with people who refuse to believe you are the size you are. i have a good friend who i love who always encourages me to wear her clothes--her size 8 clothes that do not even come close to fitting my size 16 ass. she really really cannot see me as i am--it's weird. she doesn't mean any harm by it or anything, but it always leaves me feeling like crap about myself all the same. and then there was a time when i got into an argument with some folks who refused to believe my weight. granted i have some muscle mass, and i do think i look like i weigh a LITTLE less than my true weight--but man, why would i lie about that?? what in the world would i be accomplishing by stating that i was HEAVIER than i am??? i actually had to get on a scale to prove to them that i wasn't making the 212 number up. and they still didn't really believe it. today another friend was telling me about a conversation she had with a woman in her office--the woman was throwing out numbers that were wildly off from my friend's true weight, making her feel like crap. and then offering all this unsolicited advice on how to lose weight. advice that sucked, by the way. so yeah--skinny people? y'all listen now. here's jackie's advice on how to deal with your overweight freinds and acquaintences who are struggling with the whole thing:
1) sure--ask how it's going and be a supportive ear IF, and ONLY IF the person is your actual FRIEND. if it's an acquaintance, just leave it alone--it's really none of your business.
2) no advice please, unless we ask for it. especially idiot advice like--just stop eating bread and you will lose weight. not helpful. really.
3) don't assume we don't know what we're doing. most of us know EXACTLY what we need to do to lose weight and where we are failing and where we are succeeding. trust me on this.
4) try to understand that this is a sensitive topic. it's not something that most of us take lightly or feel blase about. we feel awful about it--it's one of the ruling factors in our lives. and yes--we do already know it's up to us to change it. so being told that--it's just not helpful.
sorry if i am sounding a tad bitter today. i am tired. and cranky. sometimes shit just rubs me the wrong way. i am going to shut up now.
1) sure--ask how it's going and be a supportive ear IF, and ONLY IF the person is your actual FRIEND. if it's an acquaintance, just leave it alone--it's really none of your business.
2) no advice please, unless we ask for it. especially idiot advice like--just stop eating bread and you will lose weight. not helpful. really.
3) don't assume we don't know what we're doing. most of us know EXACTLY what we need to do to lose weight and where we are failing and where we are succeeding. trust me on this.
4) try to understand that this is a sensitive topic. it's not something that most of us take lightly or feel blase about. we feel awful about it--it's one of the ruling factors in our lives. and yes--we do already know it's up to us to change it. so being told that--it's just not helpful.
sorry if i am sounding a tad bitter today. i am tired. and cranky. sometimes shit just rubs me the wrong way. i am going to shut up now.
posted by jackie at 2:07 PM
2 Comments:
i understand - it doesn't matter what people tell you; it matters how you feel about yourself. i think you are such a fun, vibrant, interesting and wonderful person and if something is bothering you enough to dampen your spirit, then do whatever you think you need to do so that you feel good about yourself - and hey, who can argue with wanting to get more healthy. so, to hell with advice - you know what you're doing! kimmie
thanks for the good thoughts, kimmie! it's nice to have some support. :)
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