nothing like no sleep and a heavy period to screw up your plans

ok, so as always, i am eating pretty well this week and not working out enough. i made some salmon tuesday night for dinner with some rice and some stir-fried veggies--definitely good and healthy. i have been making our lunches this week except for one day, so that's not so bad. last night, we ordered take-out chines because neither of us left work before 7:15pm. BUT, i chose this place to order from that is about 10x healthier than your average chinese restaurant--fresh, good-quality ingredients, very very little fat on the meat, no MSG, and they even have brown rice instead of white. so all in all, not too bad. i admit to some small amount of chocolate this week, but still--nothing too over the top.

as for the working out thing... it never goes as well, and it's almost folly to try to get going while i am bleeding like a stuck pig. man it makes me TIRED. i did that pilates tape on monday, and that was good. and i had every intention of going to this step class at the gym last night. however, tuesday night, i think i slept about three hours--between that and the bleeding, i was just beat. today i feel a ton better, so i am going to do the pilates thing again. it's WAY better than doing nothing! then tomorrow, there's another step class, so i think i will try to make it to that. good intentions and all that. road to hell and all that, too.

mostly on track for now

this weekend i took the hippie on a date, which involved dinner out of course. then we ended up eating lunch and dinner both out on sunday. other than that, we have been eating at home. i actually think this is pretty good. we are choosing places to go that have good quality food and reasonable portions, and only eating out a few times a week, mostly on the weekend, rather than eating out every other meal. this is definitely progress.

i am also getting a little better about planning and sticking to my plan. in the middle of a very busy weekend, we still managed to get to the grocery store on sunday so that we had the things we needed to eat at home. i am alternating breakfasts between egg ones and oatmeal ones. yesterday was eggs over easy with canadian bacon and a slice of whole wheat toast and a small glass of low-sodium V8, and today was oatmeal with half a a teaspoon of sugar, some cinnamon, half a banana, and some 1% milk. i have been making us sandwiches for lunch and packing them with some fruit. i need to start adding some nuts for the hippie so he gets more protein. then last night i made baked sweet potatoes, a small piece of maarinated, grilled sirloin, and some french beans sauteed with onion slivers in ginger oil with a little cumin thrown in for good measure. i admit i had some chocolate ice cream for dessert, but only a little bit. i am bleeding like a stuck pig, so i am cutting myself some slack on that.

yesterday, i also went to target and bought myself a pilates mat and a new DVD. i tried a pilates class at my gym a while back and liked it, but unfortunately, the only time they have it is at times when it's almost impossible for me to go. so i figure i will try it at home. i did the basic step-by-step workout last night in my living room floor, and it was actually really good. i am so weak, it's not even funny. but then--i guess that's why i need it, right? and i am going to try to make a couple of step classes at another location of my gym this week, too. i'll keep you posted.

oh, and yay for my friend kristin, who has joined weight watchers with a couple of her friends--go kristin!!!

day one of plan a bust

but i swear it's not my fault! i am still AT WORK!!! man, what a shitty week. as it turns out, my lethargy and bad mood are doe to a bit of early onset PMS. UGH. anyway--plan shifted forward by two days. work is too nuts this week to get out of here at anything like a good time, so i am going to get started with the exercising thing on saturday.

the food, however, is mostly under control. yesterday was great--i made oatmeal for breakfast and had that with half a banana and some 1% milk. for lunch i had some food catered in from neomonde--healthy lebanese fare that tastes great. and for dinner i made meditteranean chicken stew--it's been a while since we had that. today i made cheesy eggs and had half a grapefruit for breakfast and then ate a small amoung of catered indian food for lunch--avoided the rice and bread entirely except for about 3 spoons full (spoonfuls?) of rice pudding. i will also be having indian for dinner as i have leftovers and am on my own. not as good as yesterday, but not god-awful or anything. yay for restraint.

a (wo)man, a plan, a canal, panama!

i love palindromes. and i have a plan, so there ya go. otherwise, that title has nothing to do with this post.

yesterday i was pretty good on the food front. i made us an egg and canadian bacon breakfast, made a lean roast beef sandwich on whole wheat for lunch, had a couple of clementines with it, had a banana as a snack, and then we went to harry and jenn's for dinner. i made corn muffins and jenn made chili with really super-lean ground beef. the corn muffins, i admit, were not so good, but i really had a cravin' on for them. and i made them myself so i know what was in them--nothing too bad really.

a word on the whole eating thing--i have kind of abandoned south beach for the moment, mainly because it's so rigid. i do believe it's a great choice, but i also know that i can't really maintain it long term and be happy. so. i am reading nutrition books again along with that the south beach book, and making my own way with something hybrid that is not exactly a diet but is hopefully something i can maintain as a way of life. i am trying to cook at home more, eat whole grains instead of refined ones, get some of my proteins from vegetable sources rather than all from animal ones, watch the sweets and the portion control, and generally make healthy choices. trying to teach myself to look at a nice dinner out as treating myself rather than as cheating, and to associate eating out with special occasions rather than with lack of time. the truth is i usually like my own cooking best anyway.

the gym thing is so much more harder for me, it's not even funny. the hippie goes regularly, but he goes at 5:30am--UGH! i have tried and failed to get up that early many many times, but i just fail repeatedly. then i spend all day beating myself up about it. and the hippie's all disappointed in me, too, and i just can't take that. it just makes me want to dig in my heels and get stubborn about going, which i know is irrational and stupid and self-destructive. the thing he doesn't get is that for me, this is not just an exercise in self-dicipline, it's also a hideous emotional thing. it's NOT rational. i fear and dread it. i feel like everyone's looking at me, judging me, horrified by me. i know it isn't really so, but i still FEEL like it is. and at the bottom of it all, i also know--i KNOW--that it's the only choice i have and that i HAVE to find a way to make it work. a way i can live with long term. BLEH.

BUT. all that said--i DO have a plan of attack. i think. i figured out today that the merge between my gym and another one has actually given me a few more options. in the past, i have had the best luck and the most fun with gyms when i had either a work-out partner or a class i liked to go to. right now, i have neither of those things, and the class schedule at my gym SUCKS. however, i think if i start going to two locations, i may be able to make something resembling a regular schedule happen. i actually made a color-coded spreadsheet to figure it all out. this means shifting my work schedule a bit earlier, but that is something i want to do anyway. so, starting tomorrow, i will try this out and see how it goes. i would start today, but today's possible class is at the gym near work, and i have none of my stuff on me--so, tomorrow it is. wish me luck.

easing back in...

grouper with swiss chard & black rice

after nearly two months of not posting, i am slowly moving back into the arena of health again. last night i made this for dinner. it's red grouper dredged in olive oil, garlic, and lemon juice, topped with black pepper and broiled until flakey, black and mahogany rice with chicken broth and fresh parsley, and swiss chard sauteed in olive oil, a little soy sauce, garlic and a tiny bit of lemon. yummy and healthy!!! the piece of chocolate cake i had for dessert was not as good, but like i said--i am easing back in.

i also had every intention of going to the gym on monday, but did not make it due to a VERY rough sunday night--the direct result of a nasty migraine that had me in its thrall for most of sunday. bleh. tomorrow, i will try to get my ass out of bed and make it in there with the hippie. as i was telling the sam--i do NOT feel like GETTING into shape, but good lord, do i ever want to BE in shape!!! i just want to get back to that elusive place where a hike feels good instead of like a near-death experience. not easy. same thing i have wanted for a while now, though. and really--it's no one's fault but mine that i am not there yet.

so. here we go again.