testing out a more positive outlook

last week i actually went to the gym. i bribed another friend to go by promising to go myself. this was good (although my trip to the gym didn't end well)--it made both of us feel better just for having gone. after a couple of months of trying to deny this whole problem and just not thinking about it, it's creeping back into my mind lately. and i have come to realize that my whole attitude has been one of focussing on the big picture a little too much. i think about how much i have to lose and how far i have to go, and i just get overwhelmed. i think i need to teach myself to just take it a little at a time, and to give myself some credit along the way for what i do manage to acomplish rather than beating myself down for what i don't. it's too easy to get into a really negative mindset with all this. and i need to stop thinking of this blog as a place where i am sort of obligated to confess my sins, and instead make it a place where i revel in my triumphs. because you know, every time i take a step toward reaching a healthy weight, no matter how small, i really do feel a tiny bit better--so why am i not focussing on THAT feeling rather than the long road ahead?