demotivation

god i have been unmotivated lately. i have been trying to analyze myself and figure out why this is. don't think i am trying to make excuses for myself--i know well that there are none to be made. this journey to a thinner self is all on me, and i know it. but i don't always understand myself and why this is so hard for me. i get motivated, stay that way for a week or so, and then lose steam, or get overwhelmed, or get derailed by a small cold, or a heavy period, or somehting. what's with that? where's my consistency? lately, i think the problem is that the general stresses of life have just been too many to add anything else stressful into the mix. the house fiasco. the hippie losing his job. the mundane day to day grind of my job weighing me down. all of it adds up to me sort of hibernating, focussing on small artsy projects, and ignoring my life as much as i can. i don't know--does everyone do that? anyway--i am still trying, even when nothing is happening. today i started a new method of food journaling to try to curb the uncaring eating frenzy i have had going on lately. tonight i will try to get to the gym, even though every fiber of my being rebels at the thought. and if i am successful, then i know i will feel better, and maybe i will have taken half a step back in the direction of motivation.