reset--again

i went to the gym this morning, and i thought i should report it, since i actually did something. i have to say--it totally sucked. i know i should be feeling positive and proud, but instead i just feel pissy and tired. didn't help to be yelled at by the hippie first thing this morning, even though i know he was trying to help. i think what i don't get across well to people is that i don't want help. i don't want praise if i go or censure if i don't. it has to be for me, about me, and all me. so today, i went. maybe if i can make it 4 more days this week i will start to feel proud.

on the food front, i am doing a 2-week SB reset to get myself going, but refuse to commit any type of self-flagellation over the occasional social deviation from the rules of SB. yesterday, we drove back to raleigh from my parent's house early enough to hit the groccery store, and i came home and did a shitload of cooking and food prep. i made is some SB-friendly lunch stuff, and bought some things for breakfast and dinner and snacks. today i made us eggs and canadian bacon for breakfast, and right now i am having some mediterranean chicken stew for lunch. tonight, i will go for sushi with my friend tom, and yes, i will eat the rice. but hopefully, for the rest of this week, i will be refined-carb-free. it's just a reset to get me going and to try to quickly drop back the 7 or so pounds i have gained through inactivity and carelessness over the last month and a half.

this morning i weighed in at about 209 pounds.